I said all along this journey something’s going on, very strange. It is now the 21s June 2am I am on the 9th floor overlooking the Mediterranean.Playing music 6 people on the balcony chatting.
That is a good intro. I came here 15 years ago, actually 6 kms in land. we, my wife and daughter, stopped at a really quiet place, Rotova . This was after 1500 miles of motorway in hot august weather , really energy sapping. After arriving and resting we walked up a lane, filled with the sounds of crickets,steaming hot with a smell of roses and fruit, can still smell it!
After slowing down, and taking in the perfume I suddenly decided I was sick of all this travel and my life had to change, very strong feeling, it’s only taken 15 years!!!
I don’t really think I will ever see so many coincidences all crammed into such a short space in time. All pointing inthe same direction. I said I wanted to feed my soul, I didn’t receive any tuition, but I learned an amazing amount about me and got a tremendous spark in my art, there is something in the light and shadows that makes you want to draw or photograph. Really got quite obsessional, but enjoying every minute. the latest news is that Gandia has appointed a professor to do a project, for next year, So fingers crossed!!!!
Next week I have to step out of this world, only for a short while, I hope. As usual I am working on a shoestring, but at least I have come away with hope, what more do you need!
And if this blog sounded a bit depressing at times, here is a little clip that takes that away.
I am really not sure that I want to point fingers, it seems like everybody at the moment is just doing enough to keep their jobs and the enthusiasm that you occasionally see from staff or teachers is missing. There seems to be a failure at the top, the whole idea of passing on knowledge has been eroded by cut backs and extra work loads having no time for the fundamentals. People have been really friendly here, but have no real power to change the system, and the information you receive always is followed by contradictory information from the next part of the process, probably driven by another set of agendas. Today’s task is very basic, clean and repair faults at my apartment in order to get some of my deposit back.
The Spanish test yesterday just proves my point, virtually everybody failed, and including those who were able to avail of an intensive course before lessons began, not for the Irish. There is another test next week to try and pull a few through, thus protecting the Spanish teacher’s back. I will be there and who knows, either way my Spanish will be good enough soon. Just received a reply, only those that were just under pass level can re take exam???
This is an experience I would not have missed for the world, but today all the other parts of my life that are negative are screaming at me, hence a big clean up, I don’t allow this mood to side track me into a standstill anymore and tomorrow I go to Valencia blind to knock on doors again, looking forward to that, I don’t think I am asking too much to fulfil my true ambition and the feedback I have received from all my art work here has given me confidence in my abilities, something sadly missing in me for all these years.
I really cannot take a step back now, this is my time and if I have to become a nuisance, if that is the way to get there, that is the way it will have to be.
This has been unreal, difficult, joyous, revealing, painfully, ultimately rewarding. I have never actually been on my own and comfortable with me, that I think is the same for many people. When my friend Derek made me go, because I was so depressed I could not see what he knew that I didn’t want to look at many things that have been slowly killing me and my spirit. This will make sense to some people.
I met three people that struck all the right cords, and will push me forward.
The nomad leader, Lasin. I sat with in the Sahara desert on my birthday talking about life into the early hours ”live your life, be happy, be helpful, smile”. Bob Marley reincarnated, coolest guy I ever met.
This guy was a visitor to a Norwegian friend of mine, (he is another book waiting to be written). I talked to him for ages, very damaged, very quiet we talked about music and art and how it had to be you. He only reluctantly plays four covers, the rest originals. I wondered could he walk the walk, judge for yourself, his voice has moved up a gear now. There are so many screwed up talented people not making the most of brilliant talent, I think everybody knows a few.
Runes (My Norwegian friends) uncle , yes another Norwegian!, 75 years old, a sick man, but with a proud strong genuine smile. He took on and won, in the last few years Esso and the British government about windscale. He and his acquaintances and friends stopped oil exploration in his locality, look at it!!!!!. He smiled the widest when telling me of his meeting with Tony Blair, when brought a box of cod to 10 Downing Street. I have been invited to lofoten,(NORWAY), I hope I see him again.
These three will be my base from which an idea has sprung, and while I said there was three, it really is five, because two in Ireland kept me sane
Derek with his cryptic texts when he would not hear from me. Everyone of them giving me instructions that made me smile. Simple stuff that I knew would help, but wouldn’t, couldn’t do?. So I received several of these kick starts, thanks mate.
Last but certainly not least. The biggest man in the world.
Jeffrey Kelly. http://www.myspace.com/vulgarieloquentia Certainly very damaged, but driven, on his own path always. He now has Erkki to promote on the airwaves and is just about to launch a new radio station. We all need each other, us damaged people, when I ranted about a childish thing that is not for puplic consumption, I was extremely close to a hospital bed because of it, I received from his sick bed, he has two years of cancer treatment coming up, the following advice.
Hi Paul’
“I know the feelin’ ~ fuck’em all ~ and think about yourself….
I can’t keep a thing down ~ either water nor food ~ ain’t crapped for a month…my nose and throat bleed all the time…then, I’m sick all over again…can’t even smoke, dope.
Ah! Well, Shit ‘appens and then ya’ dead with no-one givin’ a rat’s arse especially your greater family…
Catch ya’ later, bro’”
You do not meet these people on Facebook, just a message to everybody who thinks that is socialising!!!!
Get out there and find the talent and help it to become something, small groups will change the world now, because the old way just fecked it up for the last time.
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